1920s Style For Curvy Girls

Dress by Stop Staring via eBay, faux fur stole from Collectif, headdress from eBay, earrings from River Island, shoes from Aldo

Dressing 1920s is a challenge when you’re all tits and ass. At the weekend I faced this challenge head on when I went to the Prohibition party.

The magpie in me can’t get enough of unadulterated Gatsbyfied glamour. But when I remember that this style highlights my hangups, I always feel too fat to flap. Drop waists make me look gargantuan, short skirts make my knees nervous and I’m terrified of fringing – my body shakes way too much when I walk already.

Tragically, I will never be a flat-chested, willowy coat-hanger; a thought which makes me crave a stretchy wiggle dress and a nice, comforting slice of cake.

Resisting the gateau despite its incessant winking at me, I turned to one of my favourite films instead. Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot demonstrates how to make the 1920s look work on a quintessentially 1950s figure.

“She’s like jell-o on springs!”

All her frocks are knee-length and glitzy. They show off her shape but in a more voluptuous, undulating way than her pointier pin-up styles. Inspired by Her Blondeness, I chose a sparkly dress that skims without sculpting. Although it’s not strictly speaking drop-waisted, the ruching at the hips gives a similar effect without wreaking havoc on my silhouette.

With the right accessories you can get away with a frock that’s not quite period perfect. Draped in imitation jewels and furs, I was ready to party like it was 1929 (before that whole stock market thing).

It turns out when I’m a flapper I love to pout…

I’m pretty demanding…

and I make sex faces while dancing….

So I’m exactly the same as always then.

The Rita Dress By Bettie Page

Dress by Bettie Page Clothing available in the UK from Audrey Stars Boutique, shoes from Office

To the untrained eye this may look like exactly the same sort of frock I always wear – fitted to within an inch of its life, wiggle-worthy and attention-seeking. But it’s actually a major dress departure for me. In this teal pencil dress, I’m venturing into bold new fashion territory. It’s a colour I’ve never worn, a label I’ve lusted after but never tried and a groundbreakingly high neckline, proving you don’t need cleavage to feel va va voom.

Bettie Page Clothing, who made this intrepid voyager of a dress, are fabulous because they’re named after my all time favourite pin up…

…and because they make incredible classic-with-a-twist retro frocks. Their unique combination of quirkiness and femininity give their dresses all the flair of a vintage original.

Here are half a dozen from my current Bettie wishlist. Anyone fancy buying me an early Christmas present?

(Left to right) Beverly, Megan, Tatyana, Poppy, Sierra, Lime Drop

Vintage Essentials No.4: The Pencil Skirt

Top from Collectif, skirt from Gerry Roxby, handbag by Lulu Guinness via Ebay, shoes from Aldo

The pencil skirt is a crucial building block for any vintage wardrobe. It’s the most universally flattering skirt shape and looks especially good when there are curves for it to hug – hurrah!

Despite the fact that I loathe my legs, I nearly always wear skirts. This is thanks to the power of the pencil, my fashion soulmate, which ingeniously appears to show off my pins without actually showing them off at all. It hides my tree trunk thighs (god, I’m gorgeous) and streamlines everything that’s left, while drawing attention to my hip to waist ratio.

The Perfect Pencil

* You want it to be snug but never too clingy.

* It should hit you on or just below the knee. Any longer can cut your calves off at their widest part and make you (ok, me) look short and behooved. If you have the long, slender legs of a gazelle, feel free to slink away from this advice smugly.

* Avoid flats unless you’re one of the aforementioned gazelle types. Heels are far more flattering with this look.

* Make sure the skirt has a vent or a split or else your wiggle could become a waddle. I’ve been there. Waddling away in my ventless pencil skirt. It didn’t make me feel like a femme fatale; it made me feel like an idiot.

* Wear with a fitted top and cinch in your waist to create a 1950s hourglass silhouette.

* Choose nude stockings, preferably with a seam, for the most authentic and seductive effect.

The Classics

Gerry Roxby, River Island, Collectif

The Extra Fancy

Tara Starlet, Wheels & Dollbaby, Oasis

I’m so enamoured with the pencil skirt, I’ve written it a love poem. As it can’t read, I’ll let you have a look instead.

An Ode To The Pencil Skirt

You’re sexy but you’re not a sleaze,

You cover up my chubby knees,

You take my wobbly waist and giant ass,

And turn me into an hourglass,

Loved by Marilyn, Joan and Dita,

You give me confidence even though I’m a compulsive eater,

So thanks for being my go-to item,

In a mini skirt I’d surely fright ’em.

The Collectif Rizzo Blackwatch Check Dress

Dress from Collectif, velvet belt from Wheels & Dollbaby, handbag from Boohoo, shoes from Dorothy Perkins, earrings are vintage

I love wearing this dress so much my other dresses are starting to feel neglected. The below-the-knee pencil skirt and delicate puff sleeves make it ladylike but the va-va-voom cut and punky print give it some attitude. This blend of sophistication, sauciness and sass results in one immensely wearable dress. It will take you from day to night and from office to bar to last bus home.

It reminds me of a Vivienne Westwood, not just because of the trademark tartan but also the voluptuous silhouette and that seductive crossover neckline. Fortunately for budget-conscious bombshells, Collectif are a far more affordable label. Lately they seem to have colonised my wardrobe with their reasonably priced and unreasonably gorgeous retro designs.

It sold out pretty darn quickly on the Collectif website, but you can still buy it at one of my favourite eBay stores, Sirens & Starlets. Collectif also do another fabulous tartan pencil dress, which is available now.

Vintage ladies know that tartan is a classic choice for winter, but this year catwalk trendsetters have caught on too.

I don’t choose my clothes based on what’s fashionable – most of my wardrobe was the height of fashion sixty years ago. But it does make me happy when designers feature vintage styles in their collections, which will then filter down to the high street and become readily available to the likes of me.

To conclude this check-heavy post, here are a few more wintery lust-haves. Now you too can put the tart in tartan.*

grey wiggle dress, black Peggy dress, 60s mini dress, swagger suit, red pencil skirt, swing trousers

* I am reclaiming the word tart because it is excellent.