Vintage Essentials No.10: An Embellished 1950s Cardigan

Cardigan is vintage, pencil skirt from Vivien of Holloway, handbag from Top Vintage, shoes from New Look

One of the most wearable, not to mention adorable, additions to your vintage wardrobe is an embellished 1950s cardigan. They come sequinned, rhinestoned, beaded, embroidered, lace-trimmed and (pause for breath) appliquéd. Although originally worn with cocktail dresses, eye-catching knitwear is perfect for everyday glamour, lending old-fashioned pizzazz to the most basic of outfits. Look for luxury linings and ornate details for added vintage charm.

I find cropped cardis are best for emphasising your waist. Unless you’re channeling Marilyn at the beach, you want your mid century knitwear to hug your curves like it’s in love with you.

I found my fantasy beaded cardi at a vintage fair. These fashion Meccas are one of my favourite ways to shop – like visiting a giant department store filled with vintage goodies. You can flit between different shops at leisure and, because all the stalls are under one roof, you don’t have to walk as far in your heels. Find your nearest one here.

If you simply MUST SHOP NOW, here are some visions of loveliness I found online to get you started.

Rokit, BloomStreetVintage, CapsuleVintage, Posh Girl Vintage

Vintage Essentials: Currently Enhancing My Life And Wardrobe

Paloma cardigan from Banned, skirt from Vivien of Holloway, shoes from New Look, vintage handbag, underwear by Gossard

1. A perfect 1950s style cardi

Available in a knickerbockerglory of ice-creamy shades, this cardigan is strategically cropped to sit right on your waist for maximum hourglass definition. I wear it sweater girl style in the smallest size I can get away with, buttons sewn up to prevent accidental flashing and traffic accidents.

2. An impressively authentic pencil skirt

Unlike many repro items, there isn’t any stretch in Vivien of Holloway’s signature wiggle skirt. This means it looks like a fabulous vintage original but it also makes walking a challenge and running a crazy pipedream.

3. The most hardworking smalls in my lingerie drawer (and they all have to work pretty hard in the field of heavy lifting)

Like my floral screwdriver, the Retrolution range by Gossard is both functional and beautiful. Need undies that don’t show up under light fabrics and plunging necklines? I recommend their low cut bra in blush. Want the Spanx effect without the bald-cap-for-your-bum aesthetic? Try their waist cincher. Crave a vintage-looking thong? Go for the vintage-looking thong.

Vintage Essentials No.9: A Lace Camisole

Lace camisole from Biba at House of Fraser, pencil skirt and shoes from ASOS, pink bra from Curvy Kate, hair corsage from Accessorize, cardigan, handbag and earrings are vintage

When your wardrobe is bursting at the hinges with statement pieces, sometimes you need the perfect basic to pull a look together.

My love of cardigans and my massive, button-defying breasts mean that vests are an essential building block in my wardrobe, but a cotton top can undermine the glamour of an otherwise high voltage outfit.

That’s why I was so delighted with this camisole from Biba. It’s simple enough to wear with attention-grabbing items like this fabulous 1950s vintage cardigan and this hotrod-hot-pink pencil skirt, but the lace detail in the fabric makes it special in its own right. Stocking up on pretty-go-with-anything camis like this one makes getting dressed a far less traumatic experience.

Vintage Essentials No.8: Seams

Along with red lipstick and a facial expression of slight arousal, I wear my seamed stockings every day. They stylishly combat the whole blue legs poking out of your pencil skirt issue. Plus vertical stripes are slimming and my big fat calves are grateful for any optical illusion that narrows their heft.

Stockings vs. tights

Stockings, when worn with killer underwear and a suspender belt, have the ultimate vintage appeal. They may be labour-intensive to get into and slightly tricky to get out of, but they look sensational and authentic.

Tights are easier. You can buy them cheaply from ASOS. They’re less faff and less bumpy under your outfit and they do a good job of holding everything in, but they are also considerably less exciting than actual stockings.

My favourite is a pair of hold ups. Your exposed thighs mean you still feel saucy if you’re lucky enough to get caught in your underwear but the lack of suspenders means they don’t interfere too much with your silhouette and the crucial moment when you get undressed.

How not to get your seams in a twist

Nothing will destroy your facade of glamour quicker than sashaying away from someone and them noticing your seams are zig-zagging all over your legs. Here’s how to minimise the odds of your diva exit being destroyed by a pair of wonky stockings.

* When you first put them on make sure the Cuban heel is perfectly aligned and the top of the black triangle sits right on the centre of your ankle.

* Roll them up slowly and carefully, making sure you don’t snag them.

* Once your legs are encased, check your rear view. Ensure the seams are straight and wiggle into place as necessary.

* Throughout the day do a quick mirror check whenever you nip to the ladies. If you’re fine with looking vain, do it whenever you pass a reflective surface. This is especially important if you’re rushing about. The more you wander, the more your seams do.

Vintage Essentials No.6: 1940s High-waisted Shorts

1940s high-waisted shorts from Tara Starlet, top from Collectif, tights from Primark, velvet heels from Dotty P

This is me at my most casual, apart from that time I twisted my ankle and had to wear flats and a support bandage. That was an emotional month. I tried to cheer myself up by matching the bandage to my tea dress but deep down I knew that colour-coordination only drew attention to the swelling.

I hate my legs and seriously considered leg lengthening surgery until I saw some terrifying photographs and an even more terrifying five-figure price tag. Luckily, the high-waistband on these shorts non-surgically adds a couple of inches to my inch-deprived limbs and breaks no bones in the process.

Winter is a great excuse for black opaques but in the summer when I’m feeling tanned and reckless and usually when I’m in a country where I don’t know anyone, I’ll brave this look bare-legged.

Here are some shorts that work all year round – just add tights if your legs turn blue.

floral from Miss Candyfloss, polka dots from Bettie Page, sailor from Miss Candyfloss

Vintage Essentials No.5: The Cigarette Trousers

The Bonnie Blackwatch Cigarette Trousers by Collectif, beaded cardigan from Collectif via eBay, vintage handbag, shoes from Dorothy Perkins

It’s the year of the trousers! I’m trying to extend my casual wardrobe because to be quite frank and a little bit Rita, I’m tired of the guy at the corner shop asking me if I’m off to a party when I’ve just popped out for some milk. So here I am, in my trews, ready to do lunges and high kicks and all those other acrobatic moves you just can’t get away with in a pencil skirt without it splitting.

If you’re after pantaloons with a vintage look but don’t like your cankles or can’t be arsed to shave them, then I recommend a pair of cigarette trousers. This ankle-grazing, high-waisted style became popular with women in the 1950s and with me late last year. They are far more forgiving than their calf-chopping cousin, the capri pants, which transform sturdy limbs like mine into trotters. Like most things, except perhaps tracksuit bottoms, they look even better worn with heels.

The Bonnie trousers I’m wearing are from Collectif and come in a range of fabrics. Confusingly, the different colour-ways don’t all fit the same. To avoid the already stressful process of trouser-buying becoming a weepfest, check the product description on the webiste to see if they come up large or not. I cried in a changing room so you don’t have to.

green, check, houndstooth, black

Vintage Essentials No.4: The Pencil Skirt

Top from Collectif, skirt from Gerry Roxby, handbag by Lulu Guinness via Ebay, shoes from Aldo

The pencil skirt is a crucial building block for any vintage wardrobe. It’s the most universally flattering skirt shape and looks especially good when there are curves for it to hug – hurrah!

Despite the fact that I loathe my legs, I nearly always wear skirts. This is thanks to the power of the pencil, my fashion soulmate, which ingeniously appears to show off my pins without actually showing them off at all. It hides my tree trunk thighs (god, I’m gorgeous) and streamlines everything that’s left, while drawing attention to my hip to waist ratio.

The Perfect Pencil

* You want it to be snug but never too clingy.

* It should hit you on or just below the knee. Any longer can cut your calves off at their widest part and make you (ok, me) look short and behooved. If you have the long, slender legs of a gazelle, feel free to slink away from this advice smugly.

* Avoid flats unless you’re one of the aforementioned gazelle types. Heels are far more flattering with this look.

* Make sure the skirt has a vent or a split or else your wiggle could become a waddle. I’ve been there. Waddling away in my ventless pencil skirt. It didn’t make me feel like a femme fatale; it made me feel like an idiot.

* Wear with a fitted top and cinch in your waist to create a 1950s hourglass silhouette.

* Choose nude stockings, preferably with a seam, for the most authentic and seductive effect.

The Classics

Gerry Roxby, River Island, Collectif

The Extra Fancy

Tara Starlet, Wheels & Dollbaby, Oasis

I’m so enamoured with the pencil skirt, I’ve written it a love poem. As it can’t read, I’ll let you have a look instead.

An Ode To The Pencil Skirt

You’re sexy but you’re not a sleaze,

You cover up my chubby knees,

You take my wobbly waist and giant ass,

And turn me into an hourglass,

Loved by Marilyn, Joan and Dita,

You give me confidence even though I’m a compulsive eater,

So thanks for being my go-to item,

In a mini skirt I’d surely fright ’em.

Vintage Essentials No.3: The Perfect Red Lipstick

“Beauty to me is about being comfortable in your own skin, that or a kick-ass red lipstick.” Gwyneth Paltrow

Red lipstick signifies vintage glamour, confidence and va va voom. I wear it almost every day and love having a signature lip colour.

I believe in making the most of your assets and my lips are the only body part I’m happy with. As a show off, I like to draw as much attention to them as possible through a combination of daubing them scarlet and pouting at all times. Without my red lippy I feel plain but with it I feel ready to take on the world.

I’ve spent many an hour at the beauty counter in Boots and I have vanity cases overflowing with assorted red lipsticks to show for it. These are three of my favourites.

No. 22 by Kate Moss for Rimmel

I first bought this as an emergency replacement when I accidentally left my lippy at home. It was a panic buy and I was highly stressed about the fading vibrancy of my lips. Who would have thought this bargain purchase would become my go-to everyday shade?

Ruby Woo by Mac

Worn by Paloma Faith and Madonna, this is an essential item in any vintage girl’s make-up bag. It’s a seriously sexy, retro red. I wear it for a dramatic look and love it in winter.

Cherries In The Snow by Revlon

This deep pinky red has been popular for decades and is one of the colours used on Christina Hendricks on Mad Men. I reach for it when I want a girlier vintage vibe.

Top Tips For Red Hot Lips

Exactly which shade of red suits you best depends on your individual colouring. Harry Meret, the famous Hollywood make-up director in the 1950s, advised, “Never select your lipstick because the colour looked well on someone else.” Try before you buy and if it makes you look yellow of teeth or knackered of face, wipe it off before anyone sees and for god’s sake don’t get it.

To pull off a colour as eye-catching as red, your lips need to be in the best possible condition. Use your toothbrush to gently exfoliate them and keep Vaseline or stylishly packaged lip balm handy to cheer you up when you’re chafing.

If you want a perfectly shaped pout, use lipliner before your lipstick. It will define the outline, prevent any colour bleeding and help your lipstick to last longer.

When applying red lipstick, build up colour and intensity gradually. Blot with a tissue after each layer for maximum staying power.

Stray lipstick on your teeth will shatter the glamourpuss effect instantly, so when you’ve finished applying try this saucy trick. Pop your finger in your mouth and pull it out slowly to collect any excess lippy. If you do this in front of people they may think you’re propositioning them. Use this information as you wish.

Don’t become so obsessed with your incredible lips that you forget the rest of your face. Red spots may match your lipstick but they also pull focus so cover the blighters up. Make your complexion as flawless as possible so your god-damn gorgeous pout can take centre stage.

Vintage Stars And Their Red Lipstick Secrets

Bette Davies was a lipstick lover and said, “Even when I’m at home alone, I wear my lipstick. I feel naked without it.” Bette, I relate. Her preferred shade was known as Whorehouse Red.

Joan Crawford’s trademark lipstick look was known as “the Smear” as it went outside her natural lip line to make her lips look massive. She was way ahead of the trout pout trend. Critics described the effect as “labial flamboyancy” and “like balloon tyres in wet weather”. As you can see, Joan often put her hands over her ears to block out these criticisms.

Keep on pouting! Mwah! xx

Vintage Essentials No.2: A Cherry Print Dress

Dress by Stop Staring, wedges from New Look, clutch from Primark

So you’ve mastered polka dots – well done, you look fab – and now you’re ready for your next classic vintage ensemble. Like polka dots but with added stalks, it’s the always scrumptious cherry print dress.

If dots are cute, cherries are almost too adorable to handle. This is the ultimate feelgood frock. It’s nearly impossible to pull off being in a bad mood while being covered knee to décolletage in juicy, ripe cherries. You just can’t help but look cheerful and cheeky, even if you’re scowling and throwing a diva strop.

Marilyn made cherries iconic in her 1961 film, The Misfits, by wearing one of  my all time favourite onscreen outfits. The flirty print, the draped hourglass shape and her creampuff of a hairdo make her look like a sexy cupcake – sugary sweet and good enough to eat.

White à la Ms Monroe is the classic colour choice as it’s both summery and seductive. Black or baby blue also look yummy. I tend to keep my white one for warm weather and my trusty black one for winter.

Wear scarlet lipstick to match your cherries and either red or neutral accessories to keep the outfit simple and let your cherries do the talking.

Every retro repro brand worth its wiggle offers its own interpretation of this look. Here are some of the fruitiest frocks online to make you look positively delicious.

From left to right: Glamour Bunny, Collectif, Pin Up Girl Clothing, Big Beautiful Barbara Brown, Mod Cloth, Dainty Rascal, Cherise Design, Bettie Page, Heartbreaker

Vintage Essentials No.1: A Polka Dot Dress

Dress from Collectif, wedges and clutch from Primark

A polka dot dress is top of my list for building the perfect vintage wardrobe. It’s a fabulous outfit for day, night or day-to-night. When in doubt, whack your polka dots out!

These dotty, spotty, acne-ridden dresses are sexy but tongue-in-chic. They’re also cute and a bit cartoony. My red one makes me feel like a raunchy Minnie Mouse. Speaking of ladies with the initials M.M, Marilyn was another polka dot pro. They perfectly suited her unique blend of sex appeal and adorability.

This look exudes pure 1950s glamour. Choose a wiggle or circle dress for the most iconic silhouette. If you’re more of a 40s vixen, an A-line tea dress is just the ticket. Classic colours for polka dots are black, white, navy and red. I have at least one of each in my overstuffed wardrobe. Also look out for brighter shades to really get you noticed.

Such eye-catching frocks look best with neutral accessories – neutral in this case meaning black, white, nude and, the mother of all neutrals, leopard print.

Here is a selection of dresses for you to go dotty over.

red halter, baby blue, red and white, black, pink, white, navy, white wrap, red