The Stop Staring Billion Dollar Baby Dress In Winter Floral

Dress by Stop Staring, handbag by Retrolicious at Top Vintage, Jive seamed tights by Pamela Mann, shoes from New Look

Another day, another pencil dress.

I recently realised I basically wear the same outfit over and over again just in different colours and if I’m honest, my palette is pretty limited. I’m fine with that though. It took years of crying in changing rooms and at the emotional arc of What Not To Wear to work out what suits me. I’m bloody relieved to have finally figured it out. The challenge now is to find a new way to reinterpret the same blueprint every day. It’s a fun challenge because it involves shopping and looking in the mirror.

This particular pencil dress earned its place in my wardrobe with its elegant floral print. I have a few different versions of Stop Staring’s Billion Dollar Baby because it’s one of those dream dress shapes that does you so many favours you want it in every colour. Plus I have an addictive personality.

Aqua, floral, pink, red, LBD

Ladylike In Red

Dress by Stop Staring via eBay, seamed stockings from What Katie Did, kitten heels from ASOS, vintage handbag

I love everything 1950s. Apart from the lack of equal rights, which sucked. Some days though, I want to feel more like a lady than a walking homage to the pinup, for instance on the days I visit my grandparents. Luckily I have a back up decade I can call upon for family occasions and bomb raids alike – the fabulous though war-torn 1940s.

The silhouette of this little red forties frock is just gorgeous. It’s gently undulating rather than boom-boom-pow but it’s still flattering to your curves. Thoughtful details like the puff shoulders and tie neckline add to the vintage charm, while the half sleeves and below-the-knee skirt make it perfectly autumnal.

All in all, this highly sophisticated dress exudes the kind of demure femininity that makes your grandmother (and me) swoon.

The Summer Carnival Dress

Dress by Stop Staring, hair corsage from Accessorize, wedges from Amazon, handbag from Primark

Despite being girlier than diamante-studded pink fluff, this is a very practical outfit for a carnival as proved when I wore it at Notting Hill.

People said I couldn’t wear heels to a street party but they didn’t understand that if I was in flats I’d be too busy googling leg lengthering surgery to dance. I wore these wedges from the international designer label that is Amazon. They gave enough support to withstand the jostling crowds and they were so cheap I didn’t care if everyone went wild and spilled their drinks all over them.

The dress includes built in bra cups, which meant I didn’t need to wear a bra. Swept away by the mood of the carnival I felt liberated from all the constraints of everyday society, including underwear.

I chose a handbag with a shoulder strap to leave my hands free for expressive dance.

How To Dress Like Nigella

The other day a stranger shouted “Nigella” at me. I’m pretty sure he wanted cocaine. So you know, we hung out.

But since I was 14 and grew breasts people have told me I look like the domestic goddess. It’s a backhanded compliment being compared to a MILF when you’re a teenager. “I look hot for a woman in her forties? That’s nice. I wonder if it will help with my GCSEs.” It also made me worry about not being an expert chef. My best impression of Nigella in the kitchen involves licking a spoon provocatively while ordering a takeaway.

She does dress a bit like me though. She’s obviously a fan of the blog. Here are some tips for achieving her look.

1. Buttons are a faff – for the perfect fit, tape your clothes to your body.

2. Don’t feel pressured by society to wear a bikini.

3. A simple tray of cupcakes makes a fresh alternative to a handbag.

And here are some websites we keep bumping into each other on.

Diva Catwalk

Stop Staring

The Pretty Dress Company

1920s Style For Curvy Girls

Dress by Stop Staring via eBay, faux fur stole from Collectif, headdress from eBay, earrings from River Island, shoes from Aldo

Dressing 1920s is a challenge when you’re all tits and ass. At the weekend I faced this challenge head on when I went to the Prohibition party.

The magpie in me can’t get enough of unadulterated Gatsbyfied glamour. But when I remember that this style highlights my hangups, I always feel too fat to flap. Drop waists make me look gargantuan, short skirts make my knees nervous and I’m terrified of fringing – my body shakes way too much when I walk already.

Tragically, I will never be a flat-chested, willowy coat-hanger; a thought which makes me crave a stretchy wiggle dress and a nice, comforting slice of cake.

Resisting the gateau despite its incessant winking at me, I turned to one of my favourite films instead. Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot demonstrates how to make the 1920s look work on a quintessentially 1950s figure.

“She’s like jell-o on springs!”

All her frocks are knee-length and glitzy. They show off her shape but in a more voluptuous, undulating way than her pointier pin-up styles. Inspired by Her Blondeness, I chose a sparkly dress that skims without sculpting. Although it’s not strictly speaking drop-waisted, the ruching at the hips gives a similar effect without wreaking havoc on my silhouette.

With the right accessories you can get away with a frock that’s not quite period perfect. Draped in imitation jewels and furs, I was ready to party like it was 1929 (before that whole stock market thing).

It turns out when I’m a flapper I love to pout…

I’m pretty demanding…

and I make sex faces while dancing….

So I’m exactly the same as always then.

Vintage Style Jackets

A new season means a new excuse to go shopping, as if I needed one. Now that the temperature has dropped, top of my wishlist is a jacket to keep out the chill. There are so many gorgeous vintage-look numbers out there it’s hard to pick just one. So I picked twenty.

The Fur-Trim

A fur trim instantly adds vintage glamour to your look and keeps you toasty.

Darling, Stop Staring

The Full On Faux Fur

A faux fur jacket is super cute and super snuggly.

New Look, Boohoo

The Cheerleader

The perfect casual choice for rockabilly girls is a 1950s style baseball jacket.

New Look, Collectif

The Chanel

For classic style and sophistication, wear a Chanel-style boucle jacket.

Chanel (a girl can dream), New Look (a girl can afford!)

The Cape

A Florence Nightingale cape is a fun alternative to a jacket.

Tara Starlet, Modcloth

The Blazer

Tailoring is always flattering and I can’t resist a natty little 40s-style suit jacket.

Revival Retro (brown), Revival Retro (black)

The Trench

Made iconic by Her Royal Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s, a beige or black mac is a classic choice for autumn. Go bright for extra girly points.

Collectif, Alannah Hill

The Kimono

Lounge around in a 1920s-style kimono jacket for a luxuriously bohemian feel.

Miss Selfridge, Boohoo

The Embellished

Sparkly or lacy jackets are great if you’re looking to bring a touch of vintage style to a modern outfit.

Very, Miss Selfridge

The Swing

Comfy, classy and oh-so-cool. I like my swing jackets in a small size so I don’t feel too swamped to swagger.

Stop Staring, Vivien of Holloway

Diary Of A Vintage Holiday Wardrobe

I’m not a light packer. I always pay for extra baggage and, as goes the story of my life, I’m still overweight. My justification for the bursting suitcase seams and (this year) broken handles is that my summer holiday is my annual chance to actually wear my extensive vintage swimsuit collection. Here’s a look by look account of what I wore on my recent holiday to Spain.

First Night Out

Dress from Collectif, hair flower from Violets In May, wedges from New Look

Feeling a bit of a post-flight porker, I adopted a tried and tested outfit formula. LBD + heels + a colour pop accessory = flattering, fast-track glamour.

Beach Time, Baby

Swimsuit from Next, skirt from Tara Starlet, wedges from Primark, hair flower from Accessorize, sunglasses from duty free

The next day I craved colour and kitsch to get me in the holiday mood and distract me from my stonking hangover.

Cafe Hopping In Collectif

Sundress from Collectif, wedges from Amazon (£5.99!), handbag from River Island

I couldn’t resist the sunniness of this sundress. It’s ideal for holidays because it’s bright, playful and the swing skirt stops your thighs getting all sweaty.

Senorita Swimwear

Swimsuit from For Luna, skirt from Miss Selfridge, headscarf from Deadly Is The Female

En route to the beach/pool/garden, I like to wear my one-piece swimsuit as a halter top. I also love a theme and this look was inspired by 1950s Spanish film stars.

Malibu Barbie

Swimsuit from Next, skirt from BHS, wedges from Amazon, hair flower from Violets In May

During my holiday I became completely addicted to this fuschia orchid hairclip from Violets In May. It was a quick, fun way to add pin up appeal to all my outfits.

Never Enough Pink

Dress from Stop Staring, handbag from Primark

Stop Staring dresses are perfect for travelling because they ooze retro flirtiness and the body-skimming stretchy fabric is practically creaseproof!

Getting My Cherries Out

Swimsuit from For Luna, shorts from Tara Starlet, headscarf from Deadly Is The Female

This is the first vintage style swimsuit I ever bought. It’s very special to me because it put a permanent stop to years of bikini body shame.

Dinner With A View

Dress from Stop Staring, handbag from Pimark

I wore white because it showed off my tan and polka dots because I’m obsessed.

Leopard Print And Polka Dots

Swimsuit from Seafolly, skirt from ASOS, bag from Primark

Ah, my failsafe fifties swimsuit. Even when I’m feeling massive after using my holiday as an excuse to pig out, I still feel good in it. It’s very supportive.

Last Day Lunch

Dress from Collectif, handbag from River Island, wedges from New Look

I went mid-century Mediterranen for my final day in Spain. My hours of hard work lazing around in the sunshine had paid off and I felt proud to have realised my dream of being as tanned as Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra.

¡Adios bitches! xx

Hello Dollface!

Dress by Stop Staring via Ebay, wedges from New Look, handbag from Primark, jewellery from Accessorize

Like everyone else in London, I was thrilled about the bank holiday heatwave. It provided some very welcome tanning time and helped me towards my dream of being as bronzed as Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra. I also wish I had her upper body strength.

Another reason I was excited was the unexpected opportunity to showcase my favourite vintage style summer dresses.

My frock’s called Dollface and I think it’s adorable. I have a wardrobe full of polka dots – they make me feel like a saucy Minnie Mouse. Along with stripes and old-fashioned florals, spots are an easy to wear print that instantly add vintage charm to your look.

Open-toe wedges are my shoe staple for hot weather. With cankles as sexy as mine, a bit of heel height is a must and these give me the required tilt but are still comfortable enough for summertime strolling. I’m always careful to find ones without ankle straps, which would chop my legs into chipolatas and make them look even stumpier and more hooflike than normal.

If you’re a fellow cankle-suffererer, firstly, I’m sorry – it’s hell, isn’t it? Secondly, here are a few pin-up-worthy wedges that should elongate your stems and downplay your sturdiness.

Left to right: Lands’ End, Lands’ End, LK Bennett, Pied a Terre, Dune

What To Wear To Compere

Dress from Stop Staring, brooch from a vintage shop

Working as an MC gives me an excuse to get my gladrags on. Not that I need one. I get dressed up on a daily basis because it gives me confidence and pleasure. I’ve tried wearing jeans but that just makes me depressed. Plus being perpetually overdressed means you’re always prepared for a last minute invite to someplace fabulous. Your day is packed with glamorous potential.

Back to the important thing, the dress. It’s another Stop Staring number. Yes, I have an obsession.

I think carefully when I’m choosing what to wear to host a night. It has to be something to make me stand out in a theatre full of people. I usually go for either a bright colour or an eye catching design. The details on this dress are what make it special – the ladylike peplum and the adorable bow belt. The colour is deep and majestic and I love the rich purple against the flashy red backdrop. It’s an empowering shade that gives me enough authority to command the audience’s attention. The dress is called The Enchantress.

My New Favourite Party Dress

Dress from Stop Staring, shoes from Primark, vintage earrings from Ebay, handbag from a vintage shop in Sydney

Rain be damned. I was off to celebrate my friend’s birthday at Floripa, a Brazilian club in Shoreditch. I wasn’t going to let the downpour dampen my mood. In defiance of the temperature and persistent precipitation, I wore the brightest, most carnivalesque dress I could.

This is last season’s Watercolour Dress by my favourite vintage reproduction brand, Stop Staring. I’m addicted to the hourglass silhouettes created by Stop Staring designer, Alicia Estrada. But her line is expensive so I regularly trawl Ebay and Google, scouring the internet for bombshell bargains.

I’m a big fan of wearing vibrant colours on a night out. It puts me in a much better mood than an LBD and this dress definitely made me feel ready for a fiesta. I sank multiple caiprinhas and danced my sizeable ass off.

Despite getting the wrong night bus home and having to walk for an hour in heels, I had a blast.