The Stop Staring Billion Dollar Baby Dress In Winter Floral

Dress by Stop Staring, handbag by Retrolicious at Top Vintage, Jive seamed tights by Pamela Mann, shoes from New Look

Another day, another pencil dress.

I recently realised I basically wear the same outfit over and over again just in different colours and if I’m honest, my palette is pretty limited. I’m fine with that though. It took years of crying in changing rooms and at the emotional arc of What Not To Wear to work out what suits me. I’m bloody relieved to have finally figured it out. The challenge now is to find a new way to reinterpret the same blueprint every day. It’s a fun challenge because it involves shopping and looking in the mirror.

This particular pencil dress earned its place in my wardrobe with its elegant floral print. I have a few different versions of Stop Staring’s Billion Dollar Baby because it’s one of those dream dress shapes that does you so many favours you want it in every colour. Plus I have an addictive personality.

Aqua, floral, pink, red, LBD

Daisy Dapper, I Think I Love You

Dress by Daisy Dapper, vintage handbag and earrings, shoes from Aldo

New season, new fashion-based crush. This time I’m lusting after the work of designer, Daisy Dapper. I love a dress that shows off my waist without letting my wobblers out. Miss Dapper specialises in these, masterfully blending old fashioned sex appeal with a touch of class.

I couldn’t resist this particular powder pink frock, possibly because it looks like a sweet and I have a problem with snacking. The restrained cleavage and adorable details like the bow and the ruching on the bust give it the look of a beautiful vintage original.

It also comes in these gorgeous Autumnal shades, which are perfect if you want something more forgiving or you’re a spiller.

Forest green, royal blue, black

The ASOS Floral Wiggle Dress

Dress from ASOS, belt from Vivien of Holloway, shoes from Dotty P, vintage handbag and earrings

Florals are notoriously popular among grannies and toddlers but they can also look really hot. (And for the record, my granny always looks smoking.)

Dolce & Gabbana are the stars of my catwalk dreams and the masters of the foxy floral.

How do they make florals so sexy? They tend to use brighter, more exotic prints on a neutral background. They also know the power of a defined waist and a wenchlike cleavage.

My new ASOS wiggle dress has the hallmarks of a Dolce but doesn’t cost a month’s salary. The forgiving fabric and flattering length mean it’s the perfect way to turn a fat day into a va-va-voom day, something I often need to do. I’m wearing a size 12 and it’s a bit too big round my waist, but it’s nothing that can’t be fixed with a coordinating cinch belt.

Finding vintage-inspired bargains on the virtual high street is my favourite kind of cheap thrill and ASOS has plenty of other fifties-style frocks right now. Here’s my wishlist of their best, girliest dresses.

Hitchcock, Jacquard, Prom, Peplum

The Peekaboob Dress

The Sierra Dress by Bettie Page Clothing

If the eyes are the windows to the soul then this dress is the window to the boobs. Even I found my cleavage distracting and I get to see it whenever I’m bored.

It’s another Bettie Page number  and I went for a Medium again but when I tried it on it was too baggy round the middle. I like my clothes and my lovers to hold me tightly at the waist so I struck a bargain with a tailor (I would pay him to do his job) and had it taken in. If you have any clothes that look almost but not quite great, then get thee to a tailor.

The floral embroidery and demure length add a touch of 1940s femininity to counteract the wanton boob exposure, at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. And my granny.

My Love Affair With The Little Red Dress

From left to right, 1. Miss Candyfloss 2. ModCloth 3. Ebay 4. The Pretty Dress Company

Why I’d choose a red number over an LBD (nearly) every time.

Perhaps it’s because I listened to too much Chris de Burgh in my formative years. Or maybe I’m just an attention-seeker. Whatever the reason, the little red dress is my fashion failsafe. I have one or two. Or six or seven. And they all make me feel great – strong, sexy and a little bit Spanish. What’s not to love? Wear one well and you can take on the world. My collection of red dresses is as essential to the smooth running of my wardrobe as my drawer of giant knickers.

Tips so you can make Chris de Burgh proud

1. When choosing a red dress you have to find the right shade for your colouring or you’ll risk looking more jaundiced than jaw-dropping. Bright red contrasts beautifully against very fair or very dark skin. Try more muted shades with a tan. And it’s best avoided altogether if you’re sunburned, unless you dig that lobster look.

2. A red dress is a bold enough statement not to need a whole lot of accessories. I normally keep it simple with neutral shoes and handbags – yes, leopard is a neutral. I add an extra bit of vintage sparkliness to up the glamour wattage for a night out. If you want to be a bit more daring, red can look terrific accented with hot pink. I try to avoid wearing black with red though, except when it’s incorporated in the dress design already.

3. Wearing a red dress encourages people to serenade you. I wore my red 1940s style pencil dress recently and three separate groups of people sang ‘The Lady In Red’ to me. I’m not boasting and this isn’t technically a tip. I’m just offering you the scientific proof that wearing a red dress makes your life more like a movie, one with your own personal soundtrack.